Be as helpful as you can --by all means be sensitive and strive to empathize -- do what you can when you can. But never accomodate at the expense of being true to yourself, your boundaries, mutual respect, and your personal harmless enjoyments in life. Everything you do is going to reinforce something, so think about what you are accomodating/reinforcing: is it reasonable? Is it fear? Is it competing agendas? If your going to lend a hand, your OWN feet must be planted square.